Sure we have jobs that require ourselves to be tied in a huge wheel, grinding our souls into dust as we turn it ever patiently until we reach every payday, let us be reminded that 2 days are allotted by our lord almighty to help us realize that we need to look at ourselves in the mirror and ask the following mandatory questions:

1. When was the last time you shave? No I am not referring to you facial hair. AGAIN. When was the last time you and my friend, Trent Razor had some QT?

2. It that mold in my toothbrush? How did that happen? And were is the tube of toothpaste? Has it been a month since I did the grocery?

3. What year is this? Surely, it’s not 1996 and that is not the acne-outbreak that can just be ignored. Mental note: SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP.

4. Why does it smell like death? Who forgot to take out the trash last year?

5. How many times was Adele on loop? More than 10x can make permanent damages.

So if you find your answers very self-incriminating, time to shape up and snap yourself out of that coma.